Kick Health
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Simply miraculous; music without fear
When I was a senior in high school, I played French horn in six different bands and orchestras. French horn had been my entire career trajectory since practically fifth grade. I performed all the time with only a few nerves. Then, at the start of my senior year, those nerves multiplied. I couldn't focus on the music. I shook while I played. I doubted myself and made odd mistakes. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my ADHD symptoms were growing more severe, and with them came a performance anxiety that only got more intense as time passed. I began dreading the thing I loved, went to college for teaching instead of music, and only played in local groups for fun (or the memory of it). Last year, the performance anxiety became so severe that I could hardly play in rehearsals let alone performances. My heart raced, I couldn't breathe, I trembled to the point of not being able to make contact with the mouthpiece -- there were times I nearly blacked out. I was on the verge of losing the ability entirely. And then I found Kick. To say Kick worked miracles is an understatement. From the first time I took it, every anxiety symptom vanished. Vanished! Like they were never there at all. My hands, air flow, and pulse have never been so steady. I'm back to asking to repeat tricky parts in practice rather than avoid them. In October, I was a soloist in a concert for the first time in fifteen years. Did I play perfectly? Nope -- I still have fear-based habits to unlearn and practicing to do. But I made it through the whole song without an ounce of fear. I'm soloing again this weekend. Kick took away years of dread and gave me back a part of myself that I'd come to accept was lost for good. Truly, truly miraculous.