Function Health
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Good Information | Inconsistent Customer Service
Function Health is heavily advertised on social media. I've seen many ads on Facebook. Their basic service is $500 for a comprehensive set of tests which measure a variety of different "biomarkers." This is how they describe it: "100+ lab tests and insights from top doctors." I'll start with the positive first. The results are posted online for you in an easy to read format that includes a comprehensive report about the state of your health. They even provide you with suggestions for next steps to take to improve your health. I'm not sure where those "insights from top doctors" come in! Perhaps they're incorporated into the report. I'm quite sure that there are no doctors personally looking at your results! And now the reason why I gave Function Health just 3 stars. Their customer service is somewhere between mediocre and abysmal. First of all, they don't offer any phone support. $500 is a lot of money to spend not to be able to speak to anyone on the phone! They have text support (through a web form) but, in my experience, the quality of that support varies greatly! I've spent the last few days chatting with several people--but not in real time--about what I thought were some pretty basic questions. When they're not flat out ignoring my questions, they often can't seem to grok what I'm asking. The questions I've posed are very basic! Out of frustration I turned to ChatGPT and got a perfectly lucid, easy-to-follow answer to my query. When I posted the results, in a follow-up question, to confirm that they were accurate, they completely ignored the question! When I say the chats are not in real time, I mean that I may have to wait 12 hours or more for a reply. And, as I pointed out, that reply, especially as of late, often doesn't even address my questions! I've asked repeatedly if I could please talk to someone; but they just keep reiterating that they only do support through chat and text. As for the actual testing, it mostly happens through Quest Diagnostics. Apparently there are many locations around the country but, as the popularity of Function Health surges, they are often staffed by over burdened phlebotomists. In other words, it's like a blood drawing assembly line. That being said, my experience was okay since I was aware of this going into it and tried to bring some lightness to the interaction (which helped). So, in summary, I'd give Function Health an A for the end result (the comprehensive report), a C+ for the actual testing (mostly blood drawing), and a D for customer service. UPDATE: After repeated attempts to get my questions answered, Ashlyn reached out to me. She was very helpful and apologetic. She provided me a number where I could text the company with future queries and also mentioned that she'd passed on my feedback about the poor customer service I experienced. Hopefully, this will help them to improve their communication and provide a more timely method of getting help! LINK: my-dot-functionhealthmy-dot-com/signup?code=DSIMONI10&_saasquatch=DSIMONI10 If you use this referral code, just substitute a dot for: -dot- and add https:// to the beginning of the link. Full Disclosure (about the link above): I get a kickback if you decide to sign up for it. Obviously, an honest review is more important to me than hyping the company for a fast buck! But, as you can tell from reading my review, I do value the end result, even if their customer service could be improved. There are alternatives to Function Health with better customer service but the ones that I found were over $1000 dollars, some of them into the thousands of dollars.